obligation. choice. love. friendship.
i was taught to stand by my family. family first.
friendship means everything to me. true friends. forever friends. faithful friends.
torn between the two.
loyalty. truth.
hurt.
29.7.10
26.7.10
grey day
today i want to wallow in my own self pity. i want to lay in bed and feel sorry for myself. i want to obsess over my failures. i want to cry.
my kids won't let me.
my previous self would have watched tv, had a bath, laid in bed. complain. whine. be depressed.
my mama self has to get up, get moving, entertain, feed, nourish the mind and body. no time for self pity. ignore it. forget it. get over it.
i don't want to get over it, forget it. i want to wallow. let me wallow.
sometimes i miss the old me, the previous self. she did not appreciate the time she had. the indulgences. i want one day of her life back. maybe i would appreciate it more. take advantage of it. get the most out of a day of doing nothing. sleep in. watch daytime tv. eat when i want to. lay in bed in the middle of the day.
*sigh*
my kids won't let me.
my previous self would have watched tv, had a bath, laid in bed. complain. whine. be depressed.
my mama self has to get up, get moving, entertain, feed, nourish the mind and body. no time for self pity. ignore it. forget it. get over it.
i don't want to get over it, forget it. i want to wallow. let me wallow.
sometimes i miss the old me, the previous self. she did not appreciate the time she had. the indulgences. i want one day of her life back. maybe i would appreciate it more. take advantage of it. get the most out of a day of doing nothing. sleep in. watch daytime tv. eat when i want to. lay in bed in the middle of the day.
*sigh*
11.7.10
conflict
why does my trip have to be filled with conflict? my own and others.
i hate conflict.
i avoid conflict.
but there are times when it's absolutely necessary and during those times i am better with the written word. avoid face to face conflict with me, i'm terrible at it. write an email. compose a letter. hire a plane and write it in the air.
better yet, don't be a bitch or an selfish asshole and then we won't need to have conflict. why can't we all just get along? give peace a chance man.
in three days i can return to my life and hopefully **fingers crossed, knock on wood, pray, ask my spirit guide, wish** there will be no conflict for a while.
i hate conflict.
i avoid conflict.
but there are times when it's absolutely necessary and during those times i am better with the written word. avoid face to face conflict with me, i'm terrible at it. write an email. compose a letter. hire a plane and write it in the air.
better yet, don't be a bitch or an selfish asshole and then we won't need to have conflict. why can't we all just get along? give peace a chance man.
in three days i can return to my life and hopefully **fingers crossed, knock on wood, pray, ask my spirit guide, wish** there will be no conflict for a while.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)