i have to release. trust. have faith. in his ability to get through a day without me. that other people can care the way i do. that he won't be hurt. bullied. lost. treated cruelly.
that everyday will be filled with newness. learning. exploring. joy.
i know that there will be pains. i know that he will survive. but i have to learn to let go. so that the ache in my belly will go away.
fear.
anxiety.
a limb has been cut off and i am trying to trust that it is not being dismantled. all my hard work.
it's birth again. outside of my body. where i have no control.
my baby. MY baby.
