blur

September has been busy. Very busy. I've barely been home before 8pm the whole month. Back to work. 3 academic preps (I am teaching 3 different academic courses, which mean a lot of prep and a lot of marking). Hockey. I am now the manager of K's team. Leigh is the head coach. I'm involved with the association. It's busy. Too busy. It's been barely-seeing-your-kids-kinda busy.

But it's good. The time I am with my kids is totally invested. We are developing new friendships. I am loving my classes. And other being a little sick, I've stayed on top of everything.

Things will slow down but for now, we are making it work.

My best friend, cousin, previous roommate and overall go-to girl is moving away on Sunday. Far away. I am sad. Very sad. Deep in my gut sad. She is the person I go to for everything. Help with my kids, walks, company, to vent, to gossip, to spend very long periods of time talking to, to spend time with her adorable baby, to share meals as families. I love her and I am sad that she leaving me. But I am honestly, without resentment, happy that she is about to start this new chapter with her family.

But still sad.

Crying now.

People keep leaving me. It sucks.

Off to bed to prepare for our busy Saturday (soccer, hockey, fundraiser, help my bestie prepare to move on Sunday, family dinner).

And goodbyes.

This will be a weekend of tears.

Dirty Dozen

This was my summer of 12.

My love and I celebrated 12 years of marriage last weekend. We escaped to spend some time refocusing and recharging. We talked about what we want for our little family over the next few years and how we would like to achieve those goals. It was lovely and much needed.

And I read 12 books this summer. I started out with the Summer of Smut. I read escapism and it was exactly what I needed to kick off the summer. The quality of the reading did improve, marginally. Here's my summer book list:

1. Valley of the Horses - Book 2 of the Clan of the Cave Bear series, we read the first book for book club and I needed to finish the series
2. The Mammoth Hunters - Book 3
3, 4 and 5 - 50 Shades of Grey trilogy - SMUT
6. Bared to You - more Smut
7. Beautiful Ruins - not smut but a light summer read (Book club pick)
8. Freedom - A.MAZING!!
9. The Book Thief - fabulous
10. The Winter Palace - Catherine the Great (book club pick)
11. Bossypants - Tina Fey, who I love!
12. Far to Go by Alison Pick - which I am currently reading

You may wonder how I have time to read anything, let alone 12 books in 8 weeks, well...I ignore my kids or I sit on the deck reading while they play. So worth it. In 5 days I go back to work and it will take me one month to read my book club books. So I have to enjoy the reading freedom while I can.

Friends and Sun

This summer I have been able to spend a lot of time with friends. Old friends and new friends and best friends. It is so rewarding to spend time with people who accept you, don't judge you, love you and support you. It's encouraging to know that there are people in my life that celebrate my success and are rooting for me to do well. Sometimes, this makes the less positive relationships more obvious, more painful. I have some evaluating to do of some of the relationships in my life. Every one should be building me up, not tearing me down.

My Okanagan trip this year was amazing, fun and hot. It felt like an actual vacation and not just the obligatory visit with family. We spend a time doing the things that make the Okanagan special instead of just jumping from house to house. It was incredible. I am so grateful that I have so many wonderful people in my life.

Our trip ended with a day lazing on the lake, watching the kids jump in the water, hanging out on a dock, visiting, eating, and swimming. It was perfection. A beautiful day to end a beautiful trip.

Moving forward

My life is in flux right now. Work ends of Friday, I have no job lined up and, for the first time, I really want to be where I am. It's hard in this field to get your heart set on one school. I don't want to change schools, start again. I like my school. I love my friends there.

This is the first time since I became a mom where I have friends who are not all about my kids. Not that I don't love and appreciate my mom friends, because I really do, but it's nice to have friends who like me for the other me, the true me, the non-mom me. That me is returning now. This year has allowed me to rediscover myself, the side of myself that existed before I had kids. And I like her. She's fun. I hope that she doesn't disappear this summer. That she doesn't get lost in the stay-at-home-mom thing. And I hope that I don't lose these friends. Because I really (really) love them and now can not imagine my life without them.

I forgot how fun it is to make new friends. Making friends as an adult is hard. But when you do, it's this whole world of newness. Conversations, getting to know each other, hanging out, excited to hang out.

So here we go, into the summer. Hopefully finding myself where I want to be. Spending time with new and old friends. And reconnecting with my boys.

Always an adventure, never a dull moment, and other such cliches.

running

today I ran 10k in 1.06.23 which is double the time of elite runners but 7 minutes faster than my previous best time, which was only 5 weeks ago.  i'm proud of what I did today. it brings me so close to my first fitness goal which is to run 10k in under 60 minutes.

i ran in a sea of women, 1500 women, goddesses. it was amazing, everyone was encouraging and supportive. and at the end, i had a friend to cheer me on as i sprinted to the finish line.

pause

today I want the day off. no dishes, no dinner, no lunch prep. just an afternoon to curl up with a book.

Instead I have to find internal motivation somewhere and get to work because the little people will revolt.

who gave the little people all the power?

three points

I'm not sure why groups of three are so hard but they are. we were not created to spend time in a triangle. It makes us uncomfortable and causes conflict.

I'm done with conflict and chaos. grow up. we are adults and should be able to interact more mature than teenagers.

just saying